Monday, November 10, 2008

Story of his journey here!

I thought since this is his birthday that I would share about his major events in his life, not only for all my readers to know of him, but also for me to write out our journey (so I have them down on paper). This is not going to be a one post thing:) It will be more like 3 or 4 depending how much detail and how much time I have to write at the time!

Well it all starts out sometime in January of 2004 when we decided that little Paul needed a sibling:) He was 16 months old! I found out I was pregnant sometime in March (I cant remember exactly when), it started out like a regular pregnancy, feeling tired then really nauseous. At around five months or so I decided to go to the Doctor for my first check up, this time they scheduled the routine ultra sound apt. since it was already about that time. I remember thinking in just a few days I would know who we were having, a boy OR girl!! I had been feeling a little better with the nausea, but another thing started happening that I could not explain at the time, it was a sort of suffocating feeling, or shortness of breath that I had not had with my other pregnancy. I just wrote if off as normal stuff (but it was getting worse). Anyways we went in for the ultra sound, it was a great time for Little Paul (so I thought), well he cried almost the whole time because he thought they were hurting me:) POOR KID! The appointment went sort of long, but then I did not think anything of it. I was happy to find out that we were having another little boy, well not everyone was to thrilled (Paul's parents wanted him to be a girl, but we were thrilled to have a brother for Lil.Paul).
After that ultra sound I did not attend my next OB appointment that was within the next couple weeks, I felt fine (other then the breathing) and I was not into going in. Well about FOUR weeks AFTER my ultra sound my OB office called me to say that I NEEDED to come to see my OB and talk about the ultra sound. To me I thought they were just being lame because I missed my apt. and thought they were just using the ultra sound as an excuse (since it had been like a month later). The lady sounded serious enough for me to go in, she said they just got some readings that were most likely a mistake IE. the baby was not cooperating, so I most likely will have to have another ultra sound. So within the next couple of days, I went in... Now by this time I was nervous, a little tense, so my blood pressure was a little high and the nurse asked WHY, if I was under any extra stress these days?? Huh, duh! Well needless to say no one wrote anything in my chart about the results being questionable. So here I am explaining why I'm there and what I need to do. Finally another lady came in and confirmed that she had an order for me to go in to a specialist for another scan. Now this time I remember feeling sort of sick to my stomach, wondering what on earth was going on, could it be a mistake? So they told me that possibly there was some readings that showed extra amounts of fluid by his head area (that could explain the breathing for me), and that they could not get a good measurement of his head, and that was it, nothing to worry about.
My next journey was to the office of the specialist, I remember seeing a lot of pregnant moms in there with kids that were handicapped and or sick. I was thinking that this would NOT be me, this was my last appointment here just to clear things up. The lady came in and started talking to me about options with this pregnancy, I was confused, she started doing the scan and started telling me that he had a lot of signs for Down Syndrome, he had a birth defect in his stomach, he would need surgery short after birth, I could not deliver at our local hospital, I would have to have repeat scans to keep checking his progress, they needed to check his heart with another specialist, he had fluid around his brain, I had an abnormally amounts of amniotic fluid, red flags are all over this report! I was SHOCKED, I remember looking at Paul and Little Paul and thinking, NO this is crazy, NO WAY!! I was so scared, I acted like it was fine (you all know me:) I held it together while talking with the genetics counselor, then the surgery coordinator's, the delivery coordinator's, and the heart specialist (which he could not find anything wrong with his heart, but told me it could show up later and it could be serious). I scheduled all the appropriate appointments and walked to the car in one piece:) Then on the 30 minute drive home was silent, not talking at all, until I lost it!! I can not believe it, is all that I could keep saying! I remember coming home and calling my family, then Serena and telling them to just pray and NOT talk negative to me, I did not need to hear fear or negativity.
The next few months were PACKED with appointments with Doctors all over the place. We went down to Santa Barbra to meet my new OB, Phillips surgeon (and talk about the procedure that would be done to fix his blocked intestine) Cardiologist (just in case he had a heart condition), and the NICU team at the Hospital.. We always traveled together, never leaving little Paul home (I could not do it, NEVER). My new OB scheduled a induction two weeks before my due date, and I was fine with that;P
We prepared for Phillip like a normal family would, it was fun preparing little Paul for his new brother, we were so excited despite of all the scary things that were ahead...........
Finally it was the day, my mom came down with us so she could be there and take care of Little Paul too. We had a little "Cottage" prepared for our stay through the hospital, and that would be "home" for the next 3 weeks! I was checked in the hospital, induced and proceeded with my delivery almost exactly like little Paul came, FAST!! And I remember them scared that it was happening so fast, I did warn them:) The nurse got on the phone and called down the NICU team and my OB, but he did not make it (his office was across the street), so another Doctor came in off the floor (he was doing rounds). I remember the nurse bringing me a consent form to sign asking me to allow a team of students in while I delivered (and I did allow it, I was dying here, I could care less)! Phillip was born only after maybe three pushes, and I was calm this time around (that's what big Paul says) Phillip came out I looked at him and saw his little puffy face (purple I might add), and his little flat nose and slanted eyes (and immediately I knew). I was so happy to have him here, all I did is cry and ask if he was okay and if he was going to make it. I was so scared, I only got to see him for a few seconds, and they took him:( They said that I could come see him later... This was at about nine in the evening when he was born and I did not get to go SEE him until after midnight, and I could NOT even hold him.. Just look at him:( Little Paul asked questions, but he could NOT see him.

Phillip Jeremiah
5pounds 2 ounces and NO length (they did not measure him)

To be continued.................. Hopefully with added pictures:)


erc said...

Praying for you TODAY, especially!
LOVE YOU, GIRL!! Looking forward to the REST OF THE STORY! (I think it's GOOD FOR YOU to share....and get it down on paper!)


Gombojav Tribe said...

Happy Birthday, Phillip. We love you and miss you!

--The Gombojav Tribe